Saturday, August 21, 2010

Appreciate What You Have



To those who are married, .. Not married, and soon to be married, I hope you will be touched with this story... MARRIAGE

          When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!                                        
                       
          With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.                                                                  
          The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.                                                               
   
            I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.                 


          On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.                                                            
    
           On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.                                                               
          
          At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage.                                        
                                                                                                                                   
                       Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.


By: Kay Regala

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Dementia- how to avoid it?

*DEMENTIA - HOW TO AVOID IT


To help ward off dementia, train your brain: *The minute you said you are retired, Dementia starts!!

Timing is everything, comedians say. It's also important when it comes to taking care of your brain. Yet most of us start worrying about dementia after retirement - and that may be too little, too late. Experts say that if you really want to ward off dementia, you need to start taking care of your brain in your 30s and or even earlier.

"More and more research is suggesting that lifestyle is very important to your brain's health," says Dr Paul Nussbaum, a neuropsychologist and an adjunct associate professor at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine "If you want to live a long, healthy life, then many of us need to start as early as we can.

"So what can you do to beef up your brain – and possibly ward off dementia?”

Dr Nussbaum, who recently gave a speech on the topic for the Winter Park (Fla.) Health Foundation, offers


20 tips that may help

1.*Join clubs or organizations that need volunteers*.

If you start volunteering now, you won't feel lost and unneeded after you retire.


2.*Develop a hobby or two*.

Hobbies help you develop a robust brain because you're trying something new and complex.


3.*Practice writing with your non-dominant hand several minutes every day*.

This will exercise the opposite side of your brain and fire up those neurons.


4.*Take dance lessons*.

In a study of nearly 500 people, dancing was the only regular physical activity associated with a significant decrease in the incidence of dementia, including Alzheimer's disease. The people who danced three or four times a week showed 76% less incidence of dementia than those who danced only once a week or not at all.


5.*Need a hobby? *Start gardening*.

Researchers in New Zealand found that, of 1,000 people, those who gardened regularly were less likely to suffer from dementia. Not only does gardening reduce stress, but gardeners use their brains to plan garden they use visual and spatial reasoning to lay out a garden.


6.*Buy a pedometer and walk 10,000 steps a day*.

Walking daily can reduce the risk of dementia because cardio vascular health is important to maintain blood flow to the brain.


7.*Read and write daily*.

Reading stimulates a wide variety of brain areas that process and store information. Likewise, writing (not copying) stimulates many areas of the brain as well.


8.*Start knitting*.

Using both hands works both sides of your brain. And it's a stress reducer...


9.*Learn a new language*.

Whether it's a foreign language or sign language, you are working your brain by making it go back and forth between one language and the other. A researcher in England found that being bilingual seemed to delay symptoms of Alzheimer's disease for four years. (And some research suggests that the earlier a child learns sign language, the higher his IQ - and people with high IQs are less likely to have dementia. So start them early.)


10.*Play board games such as Scrabble and Monopoly*.

Not only are you taxing your brain, you're socializing too. (Playing solo games, such as solitaire or online computer brain games can be helpful, but Dr Nussbaum prefers games that encourage you to socialize too.) *MAHJONG IS GOOD!* besides which there is the incentive of $$$.


11.*Take classes throughout your lifetime*.

Learning produces structural and chemical changes in the brain, and education appears to help people live longer. Brain researchers have found that people with advanced degrees live longer - and if they do have Alzheimer's, it often becomes apparent only in the very later stages of the disease.


12.*Listen to classical music*.

A growing volume of research suggests that music may hardwire the brain, building links between the two hemispheres. Any kind of music may work, but there's some research that shows positive effects for classical music, though researchers don't understand why.


13.*Learn a musical instrument*.

It may be harder than it was when you were a kid, but you'll be developing a dormant part of your brain.


14.*Travel.*

When you travel (whether it's to a distant vacation spot or on a different route across town), you're forcing your brain to navigate a new and complex environment. A study of London taxi drivers found experienced drivers had larger brains because they have to store lots of information about locations and how to navigate there.


15.*Pray*.

Daily prayer appears to help your immune system. And people who attend a formal worship service regularly live longer and report happier, healthier lives...


16. *Learn to meditate*.

It's important for your brain that you learn to shut out the stresses of everyday life.


17.*Get enough sleep*.

Studies have shown a link between interrupted sleep and dementia.


18.*Eat more foods containing omega-3 fatty acids*.

Salmon, sardines, tuna, ocean trout, mackerel or herring, plus walnuts (higher in omega 3s than salmon) and flaxseed. Flaxseed oil, cod liver oil and walnut oil are good sources too.


19.*Eat more fruits and vegetables*.

Antioxidants in fruits and vegetables mop up some of the damage caused by free radicals, one of the leading killers of brain cells.


20.*Eat at least one meal a day with family and friends*.

You'll slow down, socialize, and research shows you'll eat healthier food than if you ate alone or on the go.


21.*In addition, I think receiving and distributing e-mails every day helps the brain function and exercise !!*

Vaccine Notification

How true is this ........?

The Malaysian government has just received a big batch of H1N1 vaccine. They have already started the vaccination exercise in many schools.

My Australian friend has just sent me this article.
Read and be your own judge.
Hi Team,

This very alarming piece of information was sent to us today . It was written by a pharmacist in South Australia .

It seems that we really need to get the message out to the public on the dangers of vaccinations that the Government is scare mongering us about!!

Please take a moment to read this article, it's an absolute disgrace on every Government & pharmaceutical company on the planet.


*DO NOT THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT OUR GOVERNMENT IS TRYING TO PROTECT YOU!!! *


This is important. I'm a qualified pharmacist. I've been researching the swine flu vaccine that our government has bought for us (using our money, by the way) and its DANGEROUS. Its easy a hundred times more dangerous than the swine flu itself.*Something that freaked me out is that several swine flu vaccine manufacturers have asked governments to give them an exemption from lawsuits, in case the vaccine caused harm in people.

*If you made a vaccine that you knew worked, then why would you need a legal exemption in case it hurt people?

*Massive warning sign. They don't believe its safe.

*The swine flu itself has killed about 2/3000 people total. The regular flu kills 40 000 plus per year - so why are we freaking out about swine flu, and not normal flu? Does that make sense? No.

If the regular flu kills 40 000 plus per year, and the swine flu only killed 2/3 000 - then why are governments buying it in advance, giving it to us for free, and giving drug manufacturers immunity to legal cases against them?

Does that make sense?

The swine flu vaccine contains 2 horribly dangerous compounds - one is called thimerosol. It is made 50% of mercury. It binds to receptors in your

Brain, and basically causes brain damage. Is it smart to be injected with thimerosol, and get brain damage, dropping 10 IQ points and going dumb, in

Order to avoid getting a flu that kills 95% less people than regular flu? No


The other horrible in gredient is called squalene. Squalene accidentally tricks your immune system into killing your own cells, which creates autoimmune diseases like asthma, multiple scelerosis, diabetes, and a bunch of diseases that we don't have a name for yet (because squalene hasn't been used for that long, and we have little data on its effects) - is it smart to inject yourself with that stuff, in order to avoid a relatively mild flu, like the swine flu? No.

If you're a pregnant mother about to take Panvax, ask yourself this - why would you take Panvax, when it contains Neomycin and Polymyxin B Sulfate - both of which exhibit positive risk to unborn children - so as to avoid what?

A mild flu, that kills 95% fewer people than the regular flu?

I'm a qualified pharmacist. I scored in the top 0.1% of my state in school.

I'm expert at critical analysis of drugs and their effects on humans. And let me be blunt - if someone came up to me with a syringe full of swine flu vaccine, or came near my family with one - I would take the needle off them and poke them with it myself - followed by several very hard punches. This stuff is poison.

Don't take it. Don't let your friends take it. Don't let your family take it. If some idiot in a lab coat asks you if you want it, ask them about thimerosol, squalene, and why the company making it wants legal exemption from being sued, and watch their face go into "OMG, I'm being asked serious questions that I don't have the answer to" mode. Anyway, I hope you're all well.


Sincerely,
George Mamouzellos
Bachelor of Pharmacy
University of South Australia

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Through The Thunderstorm

One day a young lady was driving along with her father.       
 
They came upon a storm, and the young lady asked her father, What should I do?"

He said "keep driving".  Cars began to pull over to the side, the storm was getting worse.  

 "What should I do." The young lady asked?
"Keep driving," her father replied.
On up a few feet, she noticed that eighteen wheelers were also pulling over.  She told her dad, "I must pull over, I can barely see ahead.  It is terrible, and everyone is pulling over!"  

Her father told her, "Don't give up, just keep driving!"
 
Now the storm was terrible, but she never stopped driving, and soon she could see a little more clearly. After a couple of miles she was again on dry land, and the sun came out.


Her father said, "Now you can pull over and get out."
 
She said "But why now?"  

He said "When you get out, look back at all the people that gave up and are still in the storm, because you never gave up your storm is  now over.

This is a testimony for anyone who is going through "hard times".

Just because everyone else, even the strongest, gives up. You don't have to...if you keep going, soon your storm will be over and the sun will shine upon your face again.

Touched,
Ng Loon Jay, Jasper.






 

Tales Worth Pondering

The Turtles
A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last!

For about six months they cleaned the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.

Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years...six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich. At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, 'See! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt.'

[Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we
do not do anything ourselves.]



The Frogs
A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, 'There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs - millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!' So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.

The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, 'Well... where are all the frogs?' The farmer said, 'I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!'

[ Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.]



The Pretty Lady
Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river.

The big monk offered to carry her across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. 'How can big brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?' thought the little monk. But he kept
quiet.. The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily.

When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her.

All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation.

Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. 'How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite

The big monk looked surprised and said, 'I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?'

[This very old Chinese Zen story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous .. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away.We keep on carrying the baggage of the 'pretty lady' with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony.Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the 'pretty lady'. We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river. This will immediately remove all our agonies.There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over.]


Courtesy of,
Jasper Loon Jay Ng.